Well, kids…it was a big day today…for a number of reasons.
Firstly, today was ER for us, but I’ll tell you all about that later.
There were a good few people on the Fertilicare forum having a big day today:
There was Ginger from Skrambled who was testing (which has unfortunately resulted in yet another BFN)…so sorry for all you’ve been through, words can’t express the sadness we feel at what heartache you’ve already endured and today’s news that just added to this.
MelissaCPT was also visiting the clinic today for Embryo Transfer (ET). Very exciting and glad to hear it went well. We were hoping we’d see you there – were cutting up ribbons and attaching them to our clothes at midnight last night in the hopes we’d be able to recognise you. Good luck on the 2 week wait!!!
Gwen is due to give birth today. She’s an incredible woman with a fantastic way with words who’s had an awful time. She’s been a rock for many on the forum and even I’ve been stressed worrying about her complicated pregnancy – so goodness knows how she’s been dealing with it all. We’re chuffed to bits that you’ve managed to come this far and hoping for a good news update any minute on the forum (although as she was booked in for a caesar, we may be waiting a few days for the post).
And then there’s Chopper. Chopper and her husband (who I’ve decided to call “Moose” from now on), got the call just a week ago, telling them they’d been selected by a birth mother…and the mother was due today!! So, we’re over the moon to hear that things went smoothly and we cannot wait to meet “Hatchet” (what else do you call a little Chopper?)…really can’t wait.
And then there’s us…
Last night, most people may have been nervous or excited because it was Soccer World Cup Finals – not us…nope we were excited because the following days was ER, and we seemed to be determined to wallow in the excitement, nervousness and heightened apprehension we were feeling. We did very little yesterday other than blog, read/post on the forum, and sit staring into space lost in thought…although, if I’m honest, I might have been the one staring into space while your mom was nattering ten to the dozen. I was desperately hoping that the biopsy was not going to be required and that we were going to get a good clutch of eggs, and most importantly, that it went smoothly with your mom experiencing as little pain and discomfort as humanly possible.
We made sure to have a little treat and large mugs of Milo just before 10 pm, when the nil-by-mouth rule kicked in for both of us.
This morning, it was up before dawn had cracked (again…this is becoming an annoying habit, but I suppose it’s good practise for when you guys are here), hurried ablutions and into the car for the drive to the clinic. At least we got to go in one car this time as your mom was not working today. We sailed through, arriving fairly early. We sat in the car park for a few minutes, collecting ourselves and psyching ourselves up for the big day.
Relatively short wait and then through to the 4-bed ward (where we were the first). Your mom was thrilled – convinced we’d jumped to the top of the list and would be done and dusted in record time. She donned the incredibly sexy gown with the gaping back – obviously designed by a man with a penchant for bums – and I have to be honest and say that he’s my hero – there’s nothing quite like the sexy sight of your other half’s crack peering out at you from a hospital gown!! This alluring sight was somewhat ruined by your mom’s subsequent donning of her dressing gown and great big slippers – honestly, not the kind of look that’s gonna be captivating the catwalks of Milan anytime soon. Never mind, we had the curtains pulled to preserve her dignity. There was a bit of a wait and a couple of the other beds filled up, while your mom and I sat holding hands, having short hushed conversations and doing the odd bit of reading – your mom in the hospital bed and me on the little chair next to her.
We weren’t 100% sure on when exactly in the day I would be needing to provide my latest sample – this time it being the sample that matters, not just a test one for analysis – no pressure or anything!! But, following the prof’s remarks the other day about doing a biopsy if the sample on the day wasn’t up to scratch, I have to be honest and say I was having some heart palpitations each time I thought about it!!
I had to laugh when your mom decided to make a visit to the ladies room. There had been no-one around earlier, in the waiting room or the passageways as we’d gone to the ward, but now there were quite a few people sitting around – the sight of her walking down the passageway in her gown and slippers (with thick socks on as well – she’s petrified of the cold is your mom) with these people watching was priceless – felt like a bit of payback for some of the embarrassment I’ve endured over the last 19 months or so…
They eventually called us through and we wandered off and sat in the passageway, nearer to the IVF lab. Prof came past and had a brief chat with us, letting us know that they’d be ready in a couple of minutes and that he was going to talk to the lab so they understood that I needed to provide my sample and was ready and waiting for the biopsy if there was zero sperm in the sample.
We went through to the ‘holding area’ just outside the theatre, I gave your mom a big hug and a kiss and off she went. I turned round and went to the lab to get my sterile container and off it was to the Wank Tank.
Now, no pressure or anything, but this is it!!
Your mom and I had joked repeatedly about performance anxiety, and the added threat of a biopsy if I failed was not helping…but let’s just say I took matters in hand and did what needed doing. Back to the lab to hand it over, and back to the holding area to await your mom.
During my soiree to the Wank Tank, another couple had been shifted to the holding area and were quietly chatting to each other behind their curtains.
I sat nervously for a few minutes, watching people go in and out of the doors to the theatre, until eventually prof emerged, gave me the thumbs up and told me we had 5 eggs.
It was with some relief that I watched them wheel your mom out, and it was at this point that things took a decided turn for the worse – for me at any rate…
As the nurses wheeled your mom in, I could see that she was crying and the nurse gave me a sympathetic look and told me that “…she’s a bit emotional” – talk about the understatement of the century!!
I tried to comfort her for a bit, all the while doing the tango, the waltz and the quickstep with the sister as we repeatedly squeezed around each other as she filled in forms, took blood pressure and pulse readings, and generally bustled around, while I tried to hold your mom’s hand and comfort her. I stroked your mom’s hair and tried to tell her the good news – 5 eggs. It seems she already knew this as she kept asking how many were mature. Now the sister had warned us that one of the side effects of the sedative is the tendency for the patient to fixate on one question and to keep repeating it even though you’ve answered it…it wasn’t quite that bad, but as I didn’t have the answer and neither did the sister, I tried to shush your mom and distract her by asking how it went…and that’s where I made my mistake!
Your mom developed some kind of post sedative hearing issues, resulting in her whispers being delivered at about 250 decibels – the kind of stage whisper used in large Broadway theatres. She proceeded to tell me all about how flipping marvellous the drugs were, how she could use them every night, how awesome it was to sleep like that, how flipping marvellous the drugs were, how nice the anaesthesiologist was, how warm the theatre was, how flipping marvellous the drugs were, how the prof has the nicest smiley eyes, how flipping marvellous the drugs were, how they struggled to find a vein, how flipping marvellous the drugs were and how flipping marvellous the drugs were. I could hear the couple next to us snickering and snorting through this soliloquy, all delivered from stage left and audible to anyone within a 25 metre radius.
Then it was back to the question of how many of the eggs were mature. She tried to sit up and asked the sister this questions yet again, the sister continued filling in her paperwork, which resulted in your mom laying down again, looking at me and in a conspiratorial whisper that could be heard two provinces away stated “…she’s just ignoring me”. I struggled to hide my mirth, the sister carried on regardless turning to talk to the lab technician who had just arrived at the bedside…and I thought it best to move on…
That’s when things hit an all time low…
“How did your sample go?” (probably only audible 15 metres away)…”Fine” I responded wincing…
“Did you have fun?”…dead silence throughout the clinic………
I kept eyes front, pretending the sister and lab technician weren’t 4 inches away from me and that the silence from the curtain behind me hadn’t just been broken by badly stifled laughter…”Yeh, I had a blast.”
At this point, the sister kindly intervened, trying unsuccessfully to hide the laughter that was creasing her face and introduced us (well just me actually, as I was just about to be told in exquisite detail that your mom had met her a few minutes previously and that she’d fallen in love with her) to the lab technician, Maureen. Maureen explained that she could see straight away that two of the 5 eggs retrieved were lovely mature eggs, but that she couldn’t tell about the other three until she’d cleaned them up.
This brought on a fresh flood of tears, during which your mom told me (still in that scary bellowing whisper) how Maureen had introduced herself in the theatre and told her that she was going to be the one taking good care of our embryo’s. It seems your mom has a new love in her life…so I’ll take this opportunity to welcome Maureen to the family.
After a little longer, your mom’s tears slowed, her voiced returned to something closer to normal and we were moved back to the ward, where we spent a few hours chatting, dozing and reading (me doing the reading and the other bits taken care of by your mom). I waited anxiously for news on my sample, knowing that I may still be needing to provide ingredients the hard way, but the news eventually came through (after they’d tortured me by giving your mom tea and a toasted sandwich while I still couldn’t even have some water), that they had sperm in today’s sample and that I was off the biopsy hook.
I sighed a HUGE sigh of relief, we packed up and I got to perve your mom’s backside in that sexy hospital gown again as she got dressed. We picked up instructions on the next stage of the process, got more meds for your mom, and hit the road, heading home to climb into bed for the rest of the day.
And that’s where we are, laying in bed, catching up on everyone else’s news after a sublime afternoon nap, and wondering what news tomorrow’s 11 o’clock call to the clinic is going to bring…
Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
